unforgott3n asked: Honey, I'm Home! (Nick/Moira)
"Honey, I’m home!" Nick calls out, because he thinks he’s hilarious, that little shit.
"I can’t move, you’re going to have to feed me and carry me to bed," Moira mutters, mostly into the couch."
She hears him picking across the floor, making noises of disbelief, and eventually the couch sags with his weight and he touches her back.
"Did a Lego bomb explode?" he asks in that way he has where he’s trying to act like it’s a joke, but he’s actually afraid it’s true.
"Yes," she says without looking up, even as he starts to rub her shoulders. "A Lego bomb exploded. The accelerant was something called ‘cabin fever’ and the perpetrators have been brought to justice, sent to bed without dessert."
"Casualties?" he asks.
"My sanity, my self-control, and apparently my muscle movement, since I collapsed here an hour ago and haven’t even changed the channel." Moira feels him shift, and a moment later the television, still playing Cartoon Network, clicks off. "I really have to pee," she adds miserably.
"Sorry, babe," he says, but she can hear him laughing, the traitor.
"I’m not doing this again," she says. "I’ve password locked the DVR. I’m holding your shows hostage in exchange for being allowed to leave this god forsaken place."
He doesn’t even try to hide his laugh this time. Instead, he turns her over onto her back and pushes her hair out of her face.
"I get it, I get it," he says. "I promise, if we have snow day number five tomorrow, I’ll switch shifts to stay home with them and you can go to work instead."
"I’m holding you to that," she says. "I never want to work from home again. You can deal with two kids under six going stir crazy and obsessed with the Lego movie. I’m going to work to deal with terrorists, like a sane person."
"Sorry, babe," Nick says again, and stands, presumably to lean over and kiss her, but instead he curses and jumps, then curses again.
"Yeah, don’t plan on walking around without shoes on until at least April," she adds.
"Motherfucker," Nick hisses, dropping back down onto the couch. "New plan: We drop them at Charles and Erik’s and take the next plane to Barbados."
"Deal," Moira says, and sits up to steal that kiss after all.